Pierced Heart
by fancyshipper
Summary: No matter how scary and gangsterish his look, Mikoto Suoh isn't fond with anything related to piercing. One always thought that maybe somewhere around his body, Mikoto will have one or two piercings hidden. But he hasn't –until something terrible happened to his beloved one. MikotoXTotsuka /kinda /hurt /nohappyend


No matter how scary and gangsterish his look, Mikoto Suoh isn't fond with anything related to piercing. One always thought that maybe somewhere around his body, Mikoto will have one or two piercings hidden. But he hasn't –until something terrible happened to his beloved one.

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**Pierced Heart**

**By fancyshipper**

**Warning : unbetaed /kinda/ SuohxTotsuka**

**K © GoHands Production**

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**Three years ago**

"Oh, come on!"

They are on their way taking a walk around the city and as usual, one cheerful man joined and always making a fuss over something trivial. Mikoto peers at the yellowish haired man in front of him and sighing nonchalantly. He keeps walking while behind him, Kusanagi Izumo is staring at the ignored man with somehow a pity yet amazed as for the man's effort to take their king, Mikoto Suoh, to a hair-salon. A hair salon!

"Geez, seriously!"

As the ignored man walks beside him, Izumo pats his shoulder, trying to soothe his disappointment from getting rejected –again,"But Tatara-kun, what are you planning to do in there actually?"

Totsuka Tatara puffs his cheek in annoyance,"I want to get a fresh air, I tried to look up on the magazine days ago and they said that changing look will help"

Izumo's brow upped to hear that kind of plan,"And you're planning to..?"

"I plan to dye my hair!" Tatara's eyes gleamed in spirit,"Ah, Izumo-san, do you want to do it too? We can go together!"

Izumo edging away as he shakes his head in refusal,"No, no, I'm okay with my current hair"

"Haaaah", once again Tatara sighs from another refusal, while in front of him Mikoto doesn't even bother to join their conversation. The little girl beside him tightens her grip on Mikoto's jacket in which this action caught by Tatara as a sign of interest.

"Hmm, Anna?" Tatara scoots closer as he bends down his head to get a better view,"Do you want to try it? Trying something new to change the way you look?"

The girl hides her face behind his straight silky silver hair as her red ribbon swayed. Seeing a fuzzy attitude from her, Mikoto's strides stopped. Izumo too, getting curious, he then bows closer and chuckles.

"I guess Anna-chan wants to try it"

Not even a single blush on her cheeks, Anna draws herself even closer to Mikoto. Tatara grins at Anna's reaction and glances at Mikoto, pleading through eyes. Realizing that he is the one to decide their destination, Mikoto half-heartedly agree.

"Then let's go to the salon just now"

Tatara almost jumps in happiness when suddenly he remembering things,"Wait, wait, I know a good salon from the magz, they said that it is only a block away from here"

"Huh?" Izumo stares at Tatara tiredly, mouth crescent down in disbelief at Tatara's words, as if getting his wish granted isn't enough. Actually the resistance of Izumo is somehow representing Mikoto laziness from going a little far from here.

"Oh yeah, Anna", Tatara kneels down and persuasively wheedling the little girl,"Don't you think that a better place will provide us more choices to pick?"

Anna looks down but then leans her head upon Mikoto, trying to say that she wants to go just as Tatara propose. Mikoto closes his eyes for awhile, thinking. But then, since he has no heart to refuse Anna's wish, he nods.

"Fine"

Izumo curves his lips while at the same time Tatara clenches his fist complacently,"Let's go then!"

Tatara spiritedly walks in front of them, leading their pace, while Anna still casually clinging to Mikoto in an unseen excitement. Izumo pars his step with Mikoto while suddenly he realizes something.

"Hey, Tatara-kun, which color again you want to dye your hair with?"

Tatara slows down his pace while faces showing an obvious trait that he is thinking,"Hmm.. I want to dye it brown.."

"Huh-"

"But I want it to have some kind of orange feeling too"

"Wh-"

"Maybe I'll told them to mix it one, make it to be brown with a little tangerine touch"

Mikoto closes his eyes in ignorance as Izumo gapped from the weird explanation of Tatara's but then then shrugs it off,"Hhh, whatever, Mikoto and I will only wait for you and Anna afterall"

That's what Izumo said, yet in the end, that day is the day when Totsuka Tatara ended up in his current orange-brownish hair color, Anna with her new favorite red-hat accessories adorning the sweet cinnamon ribbon of her's, Izumo with his fancy and catchy fashioned sunglasses, and Mikoto –after being pushed and forced- finally willing to change his hair style, in a very different form.

"See? It's better to get rid that rowdy hairstyle of yours. You looked more refreshed now", on their way home, Tatara joyfully commenting their choices that day –especially the big step Mikoto took that day.

"Not only that, now you have more king aura with that hair"

Hearing that stupid yet flattering comment, Izumo looks up for awhile but then back examining his new glasses –in which the same goes for Anna with her eyes somehow gratified for her new hair-acessories. At first Mikoto wants to snap in a bore demeanor, bearing a sign that he isn't paying attention to whatever his new hairstyle did to his look. But then he just can't all careless over it after seeing a bright smile from Tatara complimenting his choice.

Mikoto then lines up a smile for a slight second –even no one realizes it- and humming in acceptance while legs keep walking back home to HOMRA.

^v^v^v^

"I'm back!"

Everyone inside the HOMRA turns their faces to the door and scoffs when they are actually seeing Tatara walks in. The brownish-lock brunette pouts after receiving a cold response from the guys and immediately taking seat near Izumo –eventhough in the end he is always getting brushed off, since Izumo knows his behavior since the time he decided to follow Mikoto, Tatara always ended up whining on him.

Yata Misaki walks closer and sits beside Tatara,"What is it this time, Totsuka-san?"

It's already HOMRA's common knowledge that Totsuka Tatara, the one faithfully crossing his path with their King's, always having something new –if it's not something trivial that he is getting too exaggerate over- to bring back home to HOMRA and share it to everyone. Even so, not every new hobbies of him are interesting for everyone –let his bonsai hobby as an example as one out of lots his lame and boring hobbies.

"Well.. it's not something that I can share it off though but still, I can persuade you all to do the same th-"

"WHOA, Totsuka-san!" before Tatara's words finished, Misaki abruptly surprised in his chair while eyes observing Tatara's left ear in astonishment,"You got yourself a piercing?!"

"Hoooh?"

An immediate noise stormed inside the bar, few of HOMRA kids even crowding closely and asking Tatara where he got it from –even Izumo scoots closer to take a look.

Getting the attention, Tatara chuckles,"It isn't something big for you guys all, ain't it?"

"B-but still!" Misaki responsively blurts his thought,"For a flower-guy like Totsuka-san to take a liking to piercing!"

Tatara's face wrinkled being called flower-guy but then laughs,"Whatever, I told you I love to try something new, right? How is it? Is it good for me?"

Izumo fixes his glass and clicks his tongue in wonder,"Well, in some way, it makes you looked stronger than before"

"I know I'm the weak here but, yeah..", Tatara's mouth forming an indistinct babble but then snorts,"It sure do something good to me, huh? Worth-doing then"

They all then engulfed in a random chit-chat about Tatara's new interest until Mikoto walks in from his room in the back. The noise inside the HOMRA tapered off as Mikoto slowly –and elegantly cool- taking his usual seat in the table, right beside Tatara. Dazed for awhile from a trice of quietness as the appreciate moment for their King's appearance, Tatara then grins happily as he accosts the man he adored all this time.

"Good afternoon, Mikoto-san. Done taking a nap?"

Mikoto hums as a reply and slowly sips the water Izumo prepared for him. Being accustomed for Mikoto's short and clear response, Tatara then turns his face to Izumo.

"Hey, Izumo-san, where is Anna?"

Izumo, cleaning up his precious shakers, points his chin back,"Probably still sleeping. You need something from her?"

Tatara chuckles and states,"No, just wondering her reaction to my piercing. Look, it'll flicker in bright-red if it's under the light! Bet she's gonna like it"

Izumo and Yata peers their eyes as Tatara shifts his hair so that his piercing shown better. As his new accessories being watched, Tatara catches a hint of question from Mikoto's grunts. He then laughs.

"Seriously, Mikoto-san, if you're curious you can just ask"

Mikoto gulps his water and stares at Tatara, asking with look –too lazy to mutter a word.

Tatara shrugs but then fervently showing his left ear,"Here, here, I got myself a piercing. Isn't it good?"

Izumo swears he can see Mikoto's red eyes blinked in astonishment but then trying to hold his laugh since Mikoto continues to act like he doesn't care. Tatara wryly smiles,"Hmm, not that surprising, huh?"

The purple-glasses man Izumo still trying to trace any track of Mikoto's emotion due to Tatara's surprise but then snapped back to the conversation as Tatara suddenly showing off his new necklace.

"What's that sculpture, Totsuka-san?"

Tatara pulls out the hook of his necklace while smiling mysteriously,"It's carved in a bat-shape. Cute isn't it?"

Izumo sighs,"Don't tell me you're trying to compel us all to buy the same thing like you do"

Tatara teheeing right after Izumo blurting his frank thought but then adds,"Actually if you really want to, I can introduce you to the best place for carved-necklaces. They have like, lots of choices there. You can even choose a carved animal's tooth and bone necklace or a carved-metal one"

"Really?" the childish Misaki starts to take an interest to Tatara's offer. Tatara nods his head in assurance.

"Yeah! You can request a certain shape to be sculpted too!"

Few kids also sounded attracted to it and starts chit-chatting their fancied shapes to request. Tatara giggles but then, while his eye-corner sweeping Mikoto's usual cold ambient, adds other advice,"And your personality can be judged from the way you're choosing your necklace, you know! Whether you are choosing teeth or bone or metal to add up to your necklace. Some people appear to look good only in teeth or bone necklace or so the other way around"

"Huh, really?"

"Yup", Tatara smirks and softly heckles,"Even I do think that few people will look absolutely wonderful only in metal-necklace with the right sculpt of course"

Right before the crowd is getting noisier from Tatara's explanation, Mikoto stands up and walks back to his room.

"Back to your room?" Izumo sighs.

"I'm tired"

With that brief retort and the disappearance of their King, the kids back to their talk while Izumo scales up his eyebrow from seeing Tatara muddled in a weary smile.

"What is it?"

Tatara grins when actually his face showing off a guilt,"I suppose I'm worsening his mood"

"Huh?"

"Forget it",Tatara shrugs and points a certain line on the menu,"Gimme one of this, Izumo-san"

Izumo resents it for having the conversation stopped but then decides to not bother it. It's just Tatara being Tatara afterall, he is probably stepping his foot on Mikoto's landmine again,"Yeah, yeah"

Tatara smiles for Izumo's understanding measure and throws his glance to Yata and the others which still getting engrossed to chat about the plan to request a HOMRA necklace. The truth is, yesterday at the shop, Tatara is getting himself two necklaces. One bat-shaped for himself and one, with a metal sculpted in a shiny shape of six edges snowflakes-like, for Mikoto.

And because it is Mikoto, of course he has no interest to wear it right away.

**Three months ago**

Tatara noticed that he is already crossed his path with Mikoto's in almost a decade. HOMRA is already a home for him and without his awareness he already became the heart of HOMRA. Tatara can't feel complete if he isn't in HOMRA dutifully assigning himself beside Mikoto –and the same goes for the opposite, that HOMRA isn't HOMRA when Tatara's cheerful noises isn't around.

From that realization, Tatara then decides to buy an old-style movie camera. Out of his melancholy interest, Tatara wants to film everything he has gone through until now and every little thing that happened inside his little home, HOMRA.

After getting all excited singing his song with guitar, Tatara happily records everyone's face to comment on his song. Not to mention that the busy Izumo is trying to shoo him off from the kitchen –too lazy to say a word that indeed he is captivated with Tatara's song- and Misaki trying to blink his eyes over and over again after getting so touched by the lyric.

Until finally on the last second, Tatara wants to film Mikoto's face for an expression after hearing his song,"Hey, hey, Mikoto-san, how is it? Is it good?"

Before Mikoto having the chance to look up his face from his glass, Tatara moves the camera to Anna who is as always sitting right beside Mikoto,"Anna! What about you?"

Since she is the one to request Tatara for singing, she nods her head with warm smile lining up the tiny lips,"Un, it's good"

Tatara smiles, shouting a short yay so that his happy voice can be recorded, he then moves the camera back to Mikoto,"Ne, Mikoto-san, you haven't answer the question, what's your comm-"

Mikoto's brow upped as Tatara's words stopped. He is gaping at Tatara who is currently taking off his eye from the lens and staring at Mikoto keenly.

"What?"

The red haired man asks as Tatara going back to his lens with happy grin shifting his face,"No, it's just.. well, you finally wear it after I gave it to you years ago"

Mikoto's face furrowed from the confusion but then looks down to his chest where a little metal-carved from his necklace rested peacefully. The King averts his face, hands playing on his glass,"I just feel like it"

Tatara chuckles from the quick attempt Mikoto took to avoid any embarrassing conversation and then back to his camera. Eyes flutter in happiness when he sees the snowflakes of the metal from Mikoto's necklace diffracting the lights and reflected as warm colorful glows inside the lens.

"Hey, Tatara, don't you worry to get your camera's memory filled up? It's an old one, right?"

"Hey, don't sweat it ", Tatara laughs and as usual, continuing to chime his catch-phrase,"It'll all work out"

**One week ago**

It hasn't been half a day when Izumo and Misaki found Tatara rested in blood bath at the rooftop. After the quick attempt HOMRA took to take care of Tatara's body, Mikoto wants to rest himself on his room for awhile –with all his emotion stirred inside.

Izumo stares at Mikoto in worry. To think that Tatara will die on them like that, it must be a shock to all HOMRA's member, especially for Mikoto whose bound with Tatara is stronger than anyone. Even Izumo himself is trying hard to not wet his eyes off.

"Here", Izumo manages to stop Mikoto's stomps before he enters his dark room,"It seems before getting attacked, he is recording something inside. It will be good if you're the first one to look at it"

Mikoto takes a deep breath before moving his hand to accept Tatara's old-camera from Izumo. By a quick glance, he can see a trace of blood splash being erased on one side of the camera. With a heavy hum, Mikoto closes his door and rests himself on the couch.

He carefully put the camera beside him while both hands trying to wipe his face –which starting to get a damp. He can't cry. Not that easy. But still, he can't help to feel his heart squeezed from the fact that he lost Tatara. He isn't a mere clansmen of his. Other than Izumo, Totsuka Tatara is the one who knows his very exact life right from before he is chosen to be a king until he built HOMRA as big as it is now.

The only man who decides to follow him out of admiration.

Mikoto grumbled from his word-loss. Too much emotion blended inside his chest. A loss, sorrow, regret, and contrite feels because someone so important for him is being taken. And an anger, hatred, revenge, and resentment filled up his head.

Mikoto grits his teeth as his eyes seeing the old-cam. With hands still trembling from his unstable emotion, Mikoto bring the cam in front of his face and carefully searching the memory inside.

Without any further second, with the help of current technology, Mikoto easily transfer the memory of the camera to his phone. After taking few deep breaths, Mikoto decides to brace anything recorded inside.

"I'm sorry", that's what Mikoto said before he pushes the play button at the latest video Tatara took with his camera.

And as Izumo's guess, it's a short-record when Tatara arrived at the rooftop. Everyone can tell that Tatara is humming happily to record a sea of sky contented with stars until finally he accosted a silver-haired man stood before him and the video ended up with the sound of the gun banging on the air and the focus of the camera is blurred.

If he's not remembering when and where he is, right now Mikoto wants to activate his sanctum and smears his flame to show the world that he is right now is bearing an utter grudge from watching the video of Tatara's murder.

In a loss of his anger, Mikoto accidentally rewind lots of Tatara's videos until the moment Tatara is recording HOMRA's daily activities right after he sang his song. Mikoto's emotion stirred back as he sees himself in the video averts his face, right after being recognized wearing Tatara's given necklace.

"_Hey, don't sweat it_", Mikoto can hear and feel the same situation when Tatara finished his video with his catch phrase when his camera is being mocked by Izumo,"_It'll all work out_"

It is as if Tatara is still here.

Somehow Mikoto is hoping that after watching all Tatara's videos, he can find his little buddy in the bar, chitchatting with Izumo and the others. Misaki will easily getting enraptured by Tatara's alluring hobbies and Mikoto will find himself sighing and brushing Tatara's new story as he slurps his drink while eyes still observing Tatara's unique behavior inside HOMRA –and Izumo can't help but agree to Mikoto as for Tatara is a weird guy between a bunch of fighter guys.

But then, realizing that he is now watching all of Tatara's videos because the owner don't have the chance to record anymore, Mikoto snapped back to reality that Totsuka Tatara is already dead. Gone.

He isn't going to come to the bar anymore. He isn't going to show any of his hobbies anymore. He isn't there to push and force him to do things anymore. No necessary accessories from him anymore. No videos recording from him anymore. No guitar and his song anymore. No voices of him anymore inside HOMRA, inside his little minion, inside his ear. Inside his heart.

Deep inside, Mikoto finally realizing how short the time he spent with Tatara and how irresponsive he is for anything related to his surrounding, related to Tatara's fuss. Mikoto then pathetically snorts to himself. Isn't it always like that? People will only realize how important something it is to them when it's being taken.

Now that Tatara is gone from his life, Mikoto drowned in regret. If only he pays attention of Tatara a little more.

"_Hey, hey, hey!_"

Slumped down his head, Mikoto turns his face and blinks his eyes in surprise as the screen before him showing Tatara doing a self-recording after the one that ended before.

"_Nee, guys, you see this necklace?_"

Mikoto bites his lower lips as he sees a bat-shape sculpted necklace being shown on the screen. Tatara laughs cheerfully in the video while he is whispering something to the camera.

"_I bought it three years ago. Not only that, I also bought one for Mikoto-san too_"

Mikoto gulps his bitter saliva as his necklace is mentioned.

"_Well, in the last video, you can see that Mikoto-san finally wears the necklace I gave it to him years ago!_"

Mikoto can feel his cheek lined with tears as he hears Tatara once again giggling in happiness for clenching his fist on his necklace.

"_I don't know what is stuck on his mind right now for suddenly wear it, but just as I guess, Mikoto-san really looks good in that necklace_", Tatara grins,"_You think so too, right?_"

In the dark room of his, Tatara's video shines brightly on his face as Mikoto closes his eyes to hear the soothing voice of Tatara's.

"_You see, that metal carved on Mikoto's necklace. It is neither six-petal flower nor a frigid snowflakes-sculpture_"

Tatara giggles more,"_It's like a gigantic star!_"

Mikoto looks down to the necklace on his chest and his lips can't help to wearily smile over Tatara's stupid symbol interpretation.

"_It's just like him isn't it? He is just like the bright red star on the sky. Always watching and protecting us all_"

Mikoto clutches his metal necklace as Tatara closing his videos with his ultimate sentence. The sentence in which three years ago –or even eight years ago since the time Tatara barging in his life-, Mikoto can be able to faithfully receiving the King's tittle.

"_Well, he is a King afterall. His power is exist to protect –not to destruct. Don't you agree with me?_"

Tatara's face then changed as he remembered something,"_Oh my, what am I blabbering about, I think that is enough self-recording today_"

Mikoto's hand swifted as if trying to stop Tatara from finishing his video –but of course Mikoto can't do it since it's a video recorded few months ago, by a man who is already dead.

"_After the necklace, I wonder when will Mikoto-san want to get a piercing too_", Tatara moves his face closer to the cam as his crispy laughs slipped out,"_Nah, I think it's impossible_"

"_Bye!_"

The screen shutted off as Tatara's video ended. Mikoto wipes his face as he tries to pace back his breath. After spending the next few minutes to stare at the pith-black screen, Mikoto moves his hand to move his hand on Tatara's cam and deletes the self-video just now.

There is no need to anybody else to watch it. It is just meant to him –or so Mikoto thought.

Mikoto's decision to delete that certain video is to make sure that the one who knows that video's existence is only Tatara and him –though now, it's only him. He will give back the camera to the others so that Tatara's last video can be watched and examined. Not that Mikoto worry, he already has his hand on all Tatara's videos though –even the deleted one.

Sighing, Mikoto walks outside while Izumo is silently dozing off behind the table. Tatara's death is a loss for everyone.

"Here", Mikoto shortly accosts his bestfriend,"You guys can have it"

Izumo blinks and wearily smiles, receiving Tatara's old-cam,"Done?"

Mikoto quickly hums. He is professional enough not to show a trace of silent cry from his façade.

"Izumo", being called by Mikoto in such an indifferent tone, Izumo turns his face and waiting for the next sentence,"I need your help"

"Hm?" Izumo sincerely smiles for Mikoto's quest. It is a sensitive time for them, even the King, so whatever may happened, Izumo is okay with any weird request from Mikoto as long as he can help him soothe the pain of their loss –his loss.

"Please tell the one who is in charge of his body", Mikoto takes a deep breath before continuing his sentence.

"Yes?"

Izumo trying to restrain himself for not letting his mouth gaped, eyes widened in surprise, when Mikoto then walks out, leaving Izumo astonished for his request. Izumo slips out a helpless smile, a cry bundled within a heavy sigh, when his hand quickly dials a certain number form his phone.

Even when the phone already dialing the number –or even years after this-, Izumo can't forget the way Mikoto's face crumpled in an indefinite expression when he muttered his wish,"I want to have his piercing"

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**Author's note :**

Shit. I don't care if no one reads this but I'll just let you know that I'M CRYING A WATERFALL WHEN I WROTE THIS !#^%*&(*$%^(&(*($%$%^!#$ !

I'M SORRY THIS IS NOT EVEN A MIKOTOXTOTSUKA FICT THIS IS JUST A PILED UP EMOTION OF A HEART BROKEN FANGIRL FROM HAVING HER FAVORITE CHARACTER'S DEATH AS THE START OF THE ANIME OHMYGOD I CAN'T- I'M SORRY-

*grosssobbing*

_ps_ : I'm working on this based on the anime (please don't bother the fact that Mikoto already have a piercing before Totsuka's death in the manga). And yes, thankyou for your consideration.


End file.
